


Dragon Wings and Avocado Peel

by SilverMyfanwy



Series: One Spiderkid and his Clan [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Cooking, DC Comics References, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Dragon wings, Dragons, Engineering, Father's Day, Fluff, Food, Gen, Good Peter, How to Train Your Dragon References, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Peter gets Tony to stop drinking, Precious Peter Parker, Stereotypes, Thor being Thor, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-21 04:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: There was a tub labelled 'lunch' on Pepper's desk and given the events in the Tower kitchen over the past few days, she wasn't sure whether it was safe to open or not.<>In which Peter builds Sam dragon wings, persuades Tony to stop drinking and he and Wanda attempt to cook with all the food Thor bought when left unsupervised in New York for an hour.





	Dragon Wings and Avocado Peel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fandomgirl445](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomgirl445/gifts).



> Fandomgirl445 asked for more.  
> So I wrote more.  
> And am still writing more.  
> Also, Stupid Spiderkid's Fault went huge and I did not expect it.  
> Thank you so much for all your support.  
> There are at least twelve more fics planned for this series. I hope you enjoy it.  
> Hearing from you makes me so happy!
> 
> This can be read by itself or with Stupid Spiderkid's Fault. It's up to you.

“Sam!” Peter sat up and beamed when he caught sight of Sam walking into the longue. “Are you busy?”

“No. What’s up?”

“Wait right there.” Peter beamed and ran off, leaving a bemused Sam sitting on the sofa drinking coffee.

-

Peter returned four minutes later with a shiny Stark Industries laptop tucked under his arm.

“Tony give you that?”

Peter nodded.

“Would he give me a laptop if I asked nicely enough?”

“You sided with Cap. No way.” Peter sat down and started the laptop up.

“I thought he was over that!”

“He is. He just like having excuses not to give his tech away.” the laptop loaded and Peter put in a number of passwords. “I was looking at the blueprints for your wings.”

“My wings have civilian-accessible blueprints?”

“I have the clearance to see them. Also, Rhodey owed me a favour.” Peter grinned and Sam rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I was looking at the blueprints and I was wondering if you would like some new wings.”

“Why?” Sam asked warily. “Why do you- why are you offering? Should I be concerned?”

“Well, I saw your wings and I wanted- well, they’re really, really cool and I think they’re brilliant, but I was also wondering if maybe you’d let me make you some dragon wings.” Peter smiled hopefully up at Sam. “Please?”

“Dragon wings?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “What do dragon wings look like and dragons are supposed to be living creatures in the myths, not robots.”

“I know. But I thought I could make you some huge wings that look like dragon wings. And you could have a tail as well if you wanted.”

“No tail.” Sam said firmly. “No tail.”

“But wings?”

“You got a design you wanna show me?”

“Oh yeah.” Peter typed something into the laptop and a set of blueprints appeared on screen. “It’s only a rough plan. I haven’t used the software much. I’m still getting the hang of it. They’re based on some of the dragon wings from How to Train Your Dragon.”

“The kids’ film?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“It’s really good and I like it.” Peter defended himself.

“Alright. I’m not judging you.”

“You are.”

“Maybe.”

“Anyway, what do you think?”

Sam took the laptop. “This is amazing. You sure you didn’t download this off the internet.”

“The software hasn’t been released yet.”

“And can you build this?”

“If Tony lets me use his machines and his stuff, yeah.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

"Then I tell him it’s for school and that Pepper said he would let me.” Peter grinned.

“You’ve got him wrapped right around your little finger.”

Peter blushed. “No I haven’t!”

“You have. You gonna make me those wings then?”

Peter perked up. “You want ‘em?”

“Are you mad? The forces don’t give me upgrades anymore and I’m not s’posed to have the wings in the first place, so if you make me these, then I’m gonna have some really super cool wings and I don’t need to worry about the army taking them away because I’ve got a spare and these are- I’m lost for words.”

“Really?”

Sam nodded.

“Aw thanks!” Peter closed the laptop and stood up. “They should be done by Tuesday.”

“Haven’t you got school to be at?”

“I’m on break. Thanks Sam!” and Peter went skipping off to somewhere.

-

“Peter, why is that car missing a roof, a door and a hood?” Tony walked into the workshop at five the next morning with a mug of coffee, a bottle of whiskey and a headache courtesy of the governor of Minnesota.

“I’m making a pair of wings.” Peter tried to pull on a pair of welding gloves with his teeth.

“Why are you making a pair of wings and what are you doing with those gloves?” Tony sat down at his desk and poured half the bottle of whiskey into his coffee.

“You’re not supposed to drink, the doctor told you.” Peter warned.

“I’m Tony Stark, I can invent a cure for gout if I want.”

“You’re not supposed to drink around heavy machinery.”

“There are safety mechanisms in place.”

“Don’t drink it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you not to.” Peter made eye contact with Tony. “For my sake, don’t drink it.”

Tony said nothing, but put the lid back on the bottle and pushed it away.

“Pour the coffee away.”

Tony’s face was giving nothing away.

“Pour it away. The coffee and the whiskey. Because if you drink any, I have to leave, because it’s dangerous for me to be around you when you don’t have complete control of yourself coz you gave some of it to alcohol. Don’t drink it cox it’s bad for you, don’t drink it because I hate to see what it does to you and I hate how much you rely on it.”

Tony set his jaw and started down at Peter, unblinking. Peter wasn’t sure how he managed it, but he stared back.

“DUM-E, you heard the boy. Pour it away.”

DUM-E did as it was told and poured the contents of the mug away.

“You didn’t answer either of my questions.” Tony leaned back in his chair and watched Peter stare at DUM-E in shock.

“What?” he shook himself out of his daze.

“You didn’t answer any of my questions.”

“Oh. Sorry. What were they again?”

“Why are you making a pair of wings and what are you doing with those gloves?”

“I’m making Sam some dragon wings. I need to weld some bits together, so I got the welding gloves out.” Peter rubbed his eyes. “Can I have a hug?”

Tony nodded and found himself with his arms full of Peter. “You okay kid?”

“I’m fine.” Peter sniffed. “Just thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“For getting DUM-E to throw out the coffee?”

Peter nodded. Tony gently pushed him away so that he could look him in the eyes. “It means that much to you that I don’t drink?”

Peter nodded.

“JARVIS, have the contents of the drinking cabinet thrown out.” Tony commanded. “No more alcohol.”

“And your secret stash in the garage, sir?” JARVIS inquired.

“That can all go too.”

Peter stared at Tony in shock. “Wha-”

“How are you making these wings?”

Peter pushed over the blueprints. “That’s the rough plan.”

“Nice. Why are you working at 5 am?”

“I had all my homework done last night and I really wanted to get started so I woke up quite early. Is it alright?”

“It’s fine.”

“You been up all night?”

“Don’t ever go anywhere near the governor of Minnesota. He will…” Tony gave up and shook his head despairingly.

“Go to bed.” Peter advised. “Pepper’s flight lands in a bit.”

“Yeah.” Tony stood up and stretched. “Yeah. I need caffeine.”

“Or sleep.”

“Or sleep, yeah. Thanks kid.”

“You’re welcome.” Peter beamed at Tony as he left the room and got back to work on the wings.

-

Thor paid him a visit later that day. “Peter!” he boomed. “Birdman tells me you are making wings!”

Peter looked up from structural framework he was putting together. “Which bird man? Sam or Clint?”

“Sam!” Thor sat down next to Peter and leaned over so that he could see the wing. “Is this it?”

“This is one of them.”

“Can I touch it?” Thor asked eagerly, already reaching out.

“It will probably electrocute you if you do.” Peter said grimly. “This… bit… won’t… work.”

“What do you need it to do?”

“I need it to work.”

“Would it help if I zapped it?” Thor offered.

“Zap it with lightning?”

“Well what else would I be zapping it with?”

“Um… magic?”

“That’s always been far more Loki’s style than mine. Can I zap it?”

“Uh- go ahead.”

Thor zapped it and Peter jumped back in alarm as the whole thing crackled blue with electricity for a number of seconds.

“Is it working now?” Thor inquired hopefully.

“I don’t know. I probably ought to wait a bit before touching it to make sure I don’t get electrocuted.”

“Oh. Okay. JARVIS, what is happening in the Big Apple today?” Thor’s stomach grumbled loudly. “Actually, no. Where may I find some new and unusual Migardian food to sample?”

“There is a food market currently taking place nearby that you may wish to attend, if you are looking for new food to try. Does that interest you your highness?”

“You have to call Thor ‘your highness’?” Peter interjected.

“Yes.”

Thor seemed completely un-bothered. “Pray tell where this market is, Thrall JARVIS.”

“Thrall? Isn’t a thrall, like, I dunno, a slave or something?” Peter could feel himself getting more and more confused by the word.

“Yes.” Thor looked rather pleased with himself. “The JARVIS is enthralled to the Man of Iron and has to serve him by being a fountain of knowledge, a concrete and metal Mimir, in his wergild to the Man of Iron as repayment for the JARVIS’s creation.”

Peter didn’t even bother trying to understand that time.

JARVIS told Thor where the market was and he skipped, positively _skipped,_ out of the room, leaving Peter to try and see if Thor’s zap had damaged the wing or not.

-

Peter stayed in Tony’s workshop for the next three hours, working on getting the first wing finished. As he worked, he had JARVIS try to explain to him what Thor thought JARVIS was, but Peter only managed to come to the conclusion that Norse gods had a far more complicated hierarchy system than high school did. He would have carried on until he fell asleep, except Tony told Pepper where he was and she made him go for a walk with Bruce because ‘teenagers and scientists need fresh air to stop their brains from shrinking or exploding’.

They went for a walk and Peter managed to get Bruce to tell him about his latest research project. When they got back to the tower, they found that Clint’s kids had sent huge amounts of cake and Peter spent the rest of the afternoon gorging himself with Nat.

Sam arrived, having been told about the cake, and asked Peter how the wings were getting on.

“Well, Thor zapped one of them.” Peter said. “We could go and see how they’re getting on, if you want. I thought I should put sensors in them that connect to a computer so it knows at what level the wings are performing. It might be done by now.”

“I’d love to see it, though where is Thor?” Sam looked around. “There wouldn’t be any cake left if he was here.”

“I think he went to a food market.”

“So he’s unsupervised in NYC?”

“Probably.”

Sam sighed. “At least the army haven’t rung yet.”

Sam was thrilled with the wings, which Peter managed to finish by the end of the next day as Thor’s magic zap seemed to have one a large quantity of the work for him. The test flights went wonderfully and Tony was very impressed. Sam was over the moon.

Peter’s wondrous achievement was unfortunately overshadowed by Thor’s return from the market with bags and bags of truly bizarre food that he had dumped on top of the kitchen counter just as Steve had been persuaded to make dinner.

“I have returned!” Thor boomed, beaming. What might have been a green parsnip rolled out of one of the bags and onto the floor.

“What the hell is that?” Bucky demanded. “Why does it look like a-”

Nat clamped a hand over Bucky’s mouth. “The children are present.”

Thor ignored them. “I have been to a market and bought many wondrous foods. Captain Rogers will be very proud of me, I did not use Asgardian money!”

Steve paled with worry. “What did you use instead?”

“I tried to buy some money from a toy shop but they would not except gold, silly little Migardians, but then I remembered that Tony had given me a plastic thingy that has unlimited spending on it, so I used that instead.” Thor explained.

“That’s a lot of food.” Wanda entered the kitchen. “Why have you bought all this?”

“I am going to try it.” Thor said.

“We’re ordering pizza.” Steve decided and left the kitchen, as did Wanda, leaving Thor alone to try the food.

-

The next morning, after giving Sam the full list of instructions on how to use the wings, Peter entered the kitchen looking for a snack but instead found nearly all of the food Thor had bought lying on the counter and the floor and filling up the sink. Most of the food was missing a small chunk or had a bite taken out of it. Peter decided he didn’t want to pick his way around the food in case godly saliva had made it explosive on impact and went to go and get Thor to move it. Just as he was leaving, Wanda came in from the other doorway.

“Why’s all this food here?” she asked.

“It’s the stuff Thor got from the next market yesterday.” Peter explained. “I’m gonna get him to move it in case his magic made it explosive.”

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows and her fingers briefly glowed red. “It’s fine. It shouldn’t explode unless you crazy science or magic it.”

“Thanks. Should I get Thor to move it?”

Wanda nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“Where who is?” Thor climbed out from a cupboard under the sink and grinned at them. “I’ve just been having a nap. The Black Widow offered to teach me a Migardian game called hide and seek so I hid in that cupboard and fell asleep.”

Peter and Wanda exchanged a look.

“Uh, ok. Um, Mr Thor, could you maybe move all the food? It’s kind of taking up space and someone could fall over it.”

“Oh it can just be all thrown away.” Thor said breezily. “I don’t want it anymore. Have a wonderful day.” he climbed out of the cupboard and walked away, singing ‘Humpty Dumpty’ to himself.

When Thor suggested throwing the food away, Peter and Wanda had exchanged a look of horror.

“We can’t throw all that food away.” Wanda said.

Peter agreed. “What do we do with it then?”

“I don’t know what most of it is.” Wanda admitted.

“Neither do I. We could try cooking it.”

“All of it in one go?” Wanda raised her eyebrows. “That would taste horrible.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Have you got your phone?”

“Yeah.”

Wanda started piling the food up on top of the counter. “Good. Then you can start finding out what all this stuff is.”

It took them an hour to have each item of food down to an approximate guess. Some of the products had labels on, which was helpful, but most didn’t, which was annoying.

“Why did someone name a squash harlequin?” Peter was throwing the squash up and down, catching it with his webs.

“DC fan. Can you cook?”

“Sort of.”

“What can you make?”

“Sandwiches, bags of chips, cereal and I made cookies without burning them once.”

“So you can’t cook.”

“I can!” Peter defended.

“You’re American. You’re from New York City. That means you can’t cook.”

“Can you cook then?” Peter challenged.

Wanda smirked. “yes.”

At this point, JARVIS decided to enter the conversation. “Wanda fails to add on that she can only cook one thing.”

“JARVIS!” Wanda complained. “What did you do that for?”

Peter smirked back now. “So you’re only one bit better than I am at cooking.”

“All that matters.”

-

Youttube was invaluable, until one video told them to try salad dressing and bananas, at which point they lost all faith and turned renegade. The first dish they tried to make was turkey and turnip stroganoff, except they didn’t have any turkey or turnip, so they substituted them with pistachio-coated veal (neither of them were entirely sure what veal was) and used purple heritage potatoes instead of turnip.

“I think something’s gone wrong.” Peter announced when green chunks of gloop started floating to the top of the pan.

“I’ll try a bit.” Wanda pulled a spoon out of a drawer and cautiously took a spoonful of the mixture. She gave nothing away as she ate it.

“How is it?” Peter asked.

Wanda spat it out into the sink.

Peter pulled a face. “Is it really that bad?”

Wanda nodded, grimacing, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “It’s _awful_.”

“What does it taste of?”

“You try some.”

Peter shook his head. “No thanks.”

“Maybe if we add some water it might dilute the flavour a bit.”

“It depends on what it tastes like. It could make it worse if-”

“Then you try some!” Wanda handed Peter a spoon and glared at him with folded arms until he tried the stroganoff.

Peter spat his mouthful out much faster than Wanda had done hers. “That’s _awful_.”

“Should I put some water in it?”

“Yeah. Water and- lemon, maybe? There’s a couple in that bag over there.”

“Do you just put the whole lemon in? We do not have them in Sokovia so I do not know what to do with them.”

“I think you cut them in half and squeeze them to get the juice out.”

“Hw do I cut it in half?” Wanda asked, having grabbed a very sharp, very large knife and a lemon and started juggling them with magic.

“Uh, could you maybe please not juggle the knife? Please?” Peter asked, backing away from Wanda.

“Sorry.” the knife and the lemon fell to the floor with a clatter and Wanda picked them up. “How do I do it?”

“Hold the knife parallel with the point end of the lemon, with the knife in the middle of the lemon.”

“What?”

“Just chop it in half horizontally at the waist.”

“Ok.” Wanda brought the knife down with a slam and the two halves of lemon went flying, spraying lemon juice everywhere. “Eek!”

They dealt with the lemon and after another half hour of stirring and worrying decided it was done.

“How long should we leave it to cool for?” Peter stared at the columns of steam rising out of the pan.

“Wait for the steam to go.”

They waited, each tried a spoonful and promptly left the kitchen to vomit.

-

They attempted some more cooking the next day.

They made a fruit salad with avocado peel and vinegaraized banana, then gave it out at dinner for the other Tower residents to try.

Tony, bless him, just about managed to keep his down. Thor thoroughly enjoyed it, Steve pulled a face, Bucky swore and spat it out along with Sam and Clint and Natasha refused to eat it at all. Pepper tried to think up something positive to say but all she could come up with was “You tried.”

Significant quantities of ice cream were eaten that might try to remove the taste.

-

Over the course of the next week, they made various other attempts to cook things. Some exploded, some caught fire, some destroyed pans, one broke the granite worktop and Peter nearly lost a finger. Despite all this, Peter and Wanda continued to try and nothing seemed able to put them off.

-

There was a tub labelled ‘lunch’ on Pepper’s desk, and given the events in the Tower’s kitchen over the past few days, she wasn’t sure whether it was safe to open or not. She took a chance, opened it and cautiously ate the contents, completely unaware of the teenagers six blocks over umming and aahing over whether or not to ring her office.

-

The two teenagers rang the office.

“Hello, is that Sandra?” Peter asked.

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“Could you please just check that Pepper Potts isn’t unconscious or dead or puking please?”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Peter and Wanda exchanged a look.

“I’m sorry, what would you like me to do? And who is this?”

“I’m Peter Parker, I’m Tony Stark’s apprentice, my friend and I made Pepper’s lunch for her today and we aren’t very good at cooking so we just wanted to make sure that she’s okay.”

“Oh.” there was another pause. “I’ve just seen her, she looks fine.”

“Has she eaten her lunch yet?”

“Hold on one moment.” a third pause. “She has and she says that it was delicious.”

Wanda and Peter looked at each other in utter shock. “Um, thanks. Bye.” Peter said and hung up. They high-fived. “We did it.”

“What have you done?” Tony asked. He had suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“We made Pepper lunch and she hasn’t died and apparently liked it.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if you two can manage to make something edible for Pepper’s lunch I am expecting good things on Father’s Day.”

Wanda and Peter both froze as Tony walked away, but for different reasons.

“What is Father’s Day?” Wanda asked.

“He wants a Father’s Day present from us.” Peter said blankly. “He sees us as his kids.”

“Yes, but what is Father’s Day?”

“I’ll explain later. We need to think up something really good for Father’s Day now.”

The smoke alarm went off. They groaned. “That’ll be the cake.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if there were any mistakes.


End file.
